To My Friends That don’t have children… I am sorry.

Facebook has this neat tool called “on this day”, that reminds me of all the memories that were created years ago. All of the beach days, concerts, nights out on the town, and many spontaneous trips. There was many late nights, early mornings, and none of us had a care in the world.

After becoming pregnant and having my daughter, the friendships slowly dwindled. Those daily phone calls and text messages slowly turned into weekly calls and then eventually into monthly. The careless young souls that we once were, have changed and evolved into different people… most of us for the better.

Being a full-time working mother of two little ones, my days start bright and early, and after work it is non stop madness from dinner time, bath time, and getting ready for the next day. At the end of the day after both kids are asleep, the exhaustion sets in and one on one time with my husband is on my to do list. Oh and weekends? Those use to be filled with so many fun memories. Now they are filled with memories we are making for the kids from birthday parties, trampoline parks, spending time with our extended family and working on that housework that has built up during the week.

I am sorry that it takes me days to respond to a text message even after after a full conversation on my work lunch break. After lunch break ends, its back to work and then the nighttime duties start. I will often realize two days later that I never responded.

I am sorry that I don’t answer your phone calls. I have a very chatty 4 year old that asks 584 questions a day, especially when I am on the phone and she listens to my conversation. It is much easier for me to send a text and be able to respond at my convenience.

Thank you for welcoming me right back into your world when I am able to get a night out, and picking up right where we left off. Thank you for sending invites out over and over, and understanding when I say no 90% of the time.

I know that right now at this point in time, the friend that I once was and that I use to be able to drop anything to call you or make plans is no longer there. I acknowledge this, but things will not be this way forever. I am in the early stages of parenting, and these moments go by way too fast. I have a 4 year old who is independent but who needs me to mold her into a amazing little person, and there is many firsts coming for her. I also have a 7 month old, who needs me for every little thing in life. It goes by way too quickly, and in the blink of an eye he will be getting ready for kindergarten like his sister is.

The teenage years will be eventually upon us, and I will no longer be their favorite person and the one person that they can always count on. The childhood innocence will eventually fade as well. I want to remember all of these times with them.

I will be able to be a better friend eventually, but please bare with me until we can get to that point. I miss our friendships and would love the memories to continue. You will all have your own families someday, and I will remember the first crazy years, and I will give you space, offer help when needed, make sure you get those much needed moms night out and remind you that you are a rock star, and it will get better.

Xo,

Ashley

8 Comments

  1. January 15, 2018 / 3:01 pm

    Love this! And couldn’t agree more. I am also a full time working mom of three and get how hard it is to have friendships!

  2. January 15, 2018 / 3:19 pm

    It really can be such a hard transition and change for a relationship. Thank you for this!

  3. January 15, 2018 / 3:58 pm

    Isn’t this the truth, my darling? Tis the plight of mama-hood – a worthy and messy path, allowing us to unravel, and therefore, become who we are meant to be. <3

  4. January 15, 2018 / 8:57 pm

    Great that you have put this important time into perspective so that you can cultivate these little beings!

  5. Meghan Iginoef
    January 15, 2018 / 9:41 pm

    I LOVE THIS! I often feel like the worlds worst friend because it takes me ages to reply if I do at all but I need to remember that being a friend isnt a priority my kids are

  6. January 16, 2018 / 8:33 am

    Most of my friends have kids but I remember the earlier days. Another angle to this is being in a different area without friends or all the moms at the playground being younger. Making new friends is hard.

  7. January 17, 2018 / 9:15 am

    Yes, I love the message that this is just a season – a hard season. Its def a balance of you time and time for your friends. and of course time for your little ones

  8. January 17, 2018 / 11:24 am

    Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for this!!!

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