Dear all working moms… all working moms that I have worked with, that my friends worked you, or simply just any of that I knew. I owe you all apologies and you may be asking yourself why? Well let me explain….
My first job was when I was 16 when I started to waitress at Friendly’s, and a year later I moved onto Applebees where I stayed for a few years. Out of those jobs there was a group of ladies that I worked with that had kids, and I of course did not. And then it happened… one of them had to call out and stay home with their child because they were sick… and in came my ignorance. I remember numerous times saying, “Oh it must be nice to stay home with their sick kid”. If I could go back to those times and shake that girl… I would.
Lets fast forward 8 years to now being a mother of two, with one child who has had 20+ ear infections, surgery to have tubes placed twice, plus all of the other sicknesses that she had gotten from daycare and a 7 month old who is currently following in her foot steps. I am now that mother that calls out of work to stay home with her sick kids and there is no such thing as sick days for me because I use them for both kids.
What about single moms who do not have any options but go to work, so they send their kids to daycare when they’re sick? They’re judged.
What about moms who bring their children to the doctors for every little sniffle? They’re judged.
What about the moms who call out of work because their husband has to go to work? They’re judged.
Being a mother can be tough, but being a full-time working mother and balancing sick kiddos, is a real challenge. I can tell you that I have felt the real mom guilt when I have called out, because I didn’t want my co-workers to be upset, and I have also felt the mom guilt when my husband has had to stay home with the kids because I wanted to be there with them when they were sick or if I had to send them to daycare because they were on the border line… and once again, I knew I could take care of them best.
If we all just took a step back and looked at the bigger picture and realized we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. I am embarrassed by the ignorance that my mind once instilled and it is very easy to judge or assume on things that you don’t know about, so with that said I am sorry for anyone I have ever judged in this situation.
We are all doing our best in this crazy motherhood journey… let’s support each other and lift each other up.
AlicjaJanuary 7, 2018 at 10:33 pm
Great post Ashley! Mom guilt is so deep inside us, that I’m afraid it’s impossible to get rid of it. We’re judged all.the.time., but I still think the worst criticism comes from ourselves. As you said, we need to see bigger picture while looking at others and also we need to give your self a break from feeling the guilt. Thank you for sharing!
SierraJanuary 9, 2018 at 10:08 am
As a working mom calling out is so hard. My kids will always come first but I too feel bad for other co-workers or how it is perceived about my dependability. They definitely do not make this working mom thing easy and the mom guilt can hit hard. Thank you for sharing. Sierra~Beautifully Candid